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The Holiday Blues
It’s not uncommon. Many people feel “down” during the Christmas Holidays. So you are not alone.
It’s usually a feeling of loneliness, not having a close relationship. A feeling of being left out. Compounded by memories of a childhood when holidays were not exactly happy occasions. Like many of us, you may have been brought up in a distinctly dysfunctional family. Growing up was difficult. You may have experience cruelty, or neglect, or worse. Now you are grown up, and have left all that behind you. Except when the memories sneak up on you and there is no better time for that then the holidays.
So there you are, trying to be cheerful and happy just like everyone else around you. What you don’t know is how many of the people around you are experiencing much the same thing as you are. If you could only ask them how they are really feeling you would be surprised. You would find that you have a lot of company.
What can you do to feel better? Here are some suggestions:
Look into SAD, seasonal affective disorder. Some people get seasonal depression, usually related to there being less light in the winter. Exposure to brighter lighting can help clear this up.
Ask yourself if you have unreasonable expectations for the holidays. Too many parties and commitments? An obligation to buy gifts when you budget is already tight? Check out your stress level. Then sit down and logically decide what you can change to reduce your stress.
Most important… have more contact with friends. Especially a friend you can talk with openly and honestly about what you are feeling. Feelings of depression often accompany feelings of isolation. Maybe you have become somewhat reclusive. Or maybe you have a lot of people in your life but no one who is close, no one you can tell how you are really feeling. Promise yourself to get together with your closest friend, and tell them about your true feelings. You will be amazed at what happens.
Something else you can do is to download “The Happiness Handbook” from Kindle. This guide to happiness is chock full of useful information and includes 15 audio recordings you can download, all for free. I guarantee that this reading and listening experience will bring back your sense of security and power.
Last resort… call or write me. firstname.lastname@example.org, 310-396-5459. I promise to respond to you. We can email or talk by phone. I would truly like to hear from you.
There are three aspects to faith that make it essential to your happiness; faith in a higher power, faith in other people, and faith in yourself.
Faith in a higher power is one key to happiness. You don’t have to be in a certain religion, and you don’t need a defined belief system. All you need is the awareness that there are forces and powers far beyond what we can understand, that we are limited and finite.
Faith in other people means that you trust others to behave in exactly the way that is appropriate for them. Most people don’t change very much, especially after they grow up. They develop specific and clearly identifiable patterns of behavior, and they stick to these patterns no matter what happens. So if someone is almost always kind to you, you can have faith in them to be nice to you in the future. If someone behaves dishonestly to people, then you can have faith in them to do the same to you. Makes life easy. I have just shared with you the secret to predicting what people are most likely to do. This knowledge alone can greatly increase your ability to deal with other people.
Faith in yourself is the most important of all. Your attitude about yourself was inborn; the mixed genes of your ancestors. Then your self-image was burnished and shaped by the way you were brought up. But that was a while back. You have been in charge for quite a while now, only you may not have realized it. That’s what these articles are all about. You learn how to take control of your thoughts and your life, how to achieve the prosperity and happiness that is your birthright.
10 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People
Shy. Reserved. Slightly geeky. Socially awkward. If you ask people to describe an introvert, you’ll most likely hear them described these ways. It’s not their fault, movies and television shows often portray introverts this way. From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular. Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like She’s All That and Can’t Buy Me Love where the popular kids make a bet that they can ‘make over’ the introvert and turn them into popular extroverts. Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are. Introverts are incredibly attractive people, they just typically don’t put their awesomeness on display for everyone to see.
They’re Deep Thinkers
Introverts are notoriously ‘in their own head’ much of the time. For most introverts, it’s a safe place to be. Inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them. When an introvert speaks, it’s almost guaranteed that they have spent many hours thinking about the subject, forming their opinions, and carefully choosing the words they wish to use.
They Have More Intimate Connections
It takes something special for an introvert to bring you into their world. When they do, you can bet that they believe you’re someone special. By bringing down barriers, an introvert is letting you know they’re interested in connecting with you beyond a superficial level. They’re displaying a level of intimacy and vulnerability that not many people get to see.
They’re Great Listeners
Everyone dreams of having that partner with whom they can just talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Someone who listens and really understands what is in your heart. This is one of the introvert’s superpowers. They love to listen and if you’re looking for advice or support, what they will offer is something they’re giving just to you, and that’s valuable beyond measure.
Think Gatsby. In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face. If it’s their party, they’re making sure everyone is having a good time, floating from group to group, never staying in one place too long. They’re around long enough so you know they’re there, but not long enough for you to know much about them. They’re not flirting with every face they see. They’re not bragging, boasting, or showing off. They’re in absolute control of their mood, their emotions, and even their body language. Yet, somehow, they manage to attract people to them. Their mysteriousness is magnetic, and it leaves people wondering just what it is they have.
They’re A Challenge
Just about everyone loves a challenge. While extroverts lay it all out there for other people to see, introverts, being more guarded, let you know exactly what they want you to know when they want you to know it. Usually, introverts are experts in letting little bits of information out that are intended to pique the curiosity of someone they’re interested in. Introverts are great social fishermen. Because they’re more inclined to have fewer, yet more intimate connections, this trail of information is to not only designed to attract someone, but as a test to see if the person they’re attempting to attract is worth the emotional investment. Creating this challenge ensures that the introvert is that much more attractive. The joy is in the pursuit, and the introvert knows how to make the reward bigger than you imagine.
They Take Care Of Themselves
Overall, the introvert doesn’t want to draw unwanted attention to themselves. They prefer to blend in with whatever crowd they happen to find themselves in. However, introverts leave clues. As they tend to spend more time in solitude than in crowds, introverts are meticulous in how they take care of themselves. You’ll often see them with their hair neat and styled, their nails are trimmed, they smell good, and their clothing fits them perfectly. Introverts often look and dress like a model without all the flash.
They Take Care Of Others
Because they know what it is like to be on the outside looking in, introverts are great at taking care of those they care about. They have a generous spirit, and tend to embrace genuine altruism. They’re the ones that will bring you a cup of tea every morning, bring you soup when you’re sick, and offer to watch your house when you’re on vacation. The truly generous, those who give without the expectation of receiving in return, are beautiful people inside and out.
They Know Themselves
There’s something to be said about someone who is secure in who they are. Introverts know what they like and don’t like. They are deeply connected with their values and know what they want to get out of life. Such strong self confidence makes one more attractive, sophisticated, and desirable.
They Are Easy To Be Around
Introverts avoid the spotlight like vampires avoid sunlight. They’re not looking to be the center of attention. They’re not looking to make a huge impression on everyone around them. They’re simply looking to relax and enjoy the company they’re with. It doesn’t matter what you want to do, they’re just happy to be spending time with you and are more than happy to let you have the spotlight on the karaoke stage all to yourself. While they’ll likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.
They Are Loyal
Introverts are very intentional about who they want to spend their time with. Any relationship, whether business, social, or romantic, requires a substantial investment of time and energy for an introvert. Because of this, introverts are not always on the prowl for the next big thing, the next score, the next connection that’ll help them climb the ladder. They’re invested in you and will remain invested in you no matter the distraction. They’ll defend you when nobody else will and be at your side when everyone else abandons you. Just don’t take their loyalty for granted or take advantage of them too many times. They’re loyal, however if you burn them too many times, they’ll be nothing more than a memory.
In summary, introverts are amazing people with rich hidden depths, and if you are one or know one, rejoice!
Featured photo credit: Introverts Are People, Too! via pixabay.com
Original article from LifeHack
INFJ Personality Type: A Deeper Look By Dr. A.J. Drenth
INFJs are “old souls.” Many grow up feeling wiser than would be predicted by their chronological age. Having discovered the value of their Introverted Intuition (Ni) quite early in life, INFJs grow to trust its judgments and insights. Even as children and adolescents, INFJs can be found advising and counseling their friends and siblings, and perhaps even adult family members. They tend to feel happiest and most fulfilled when helping and enlightening others through their insights.
10 Surprising Facts About Rejection
We know that rejection really hurts, but they can also inflict damage to our psychological well-being that goes well beyond mere emotional pain. Here are 10 lesser known facts that describe the various effects rejection has on our emotions, thinking, and behavior. Let’s begin by examining why rejection hurts as much as it does:
The Complete Happiness Handbook
If you are stressed out, unhappy, stuck, or hopeless, the information in this book can change your life! Full of concrete, well-researched information as well as a touch of humor, The Happiness Handbook will give you the tools and encouragement needed to improve your life, not just for today, but for the rest of your life! Get the complete 129 page book! Now on Kindle!
Dreams. Why are dreams often hard to understand?
Here is some information on the various kinds of dreams. Sigmund Freud, the originator of psychotherapy in its present form, paid a great deal of attention to his patients’ dreams. He regarded dreams as the royal road to the unconscious. Freud felt that childhood frustrations were extremely important, and he believed that all adult dreams reflected childhood incidents, which had been suppressed, or buried in the subconscious mind. Whether this is always true or not, it does appear that some of your dreams do relate to things that happened to you when you were little, and that your understanding of these dreams can help you remember incidents from your childhood that you have forgotten because they were unpleasant. Now there is some question in my mind, whether it is worthwhile to dig up unpleasant incidents from early life. I have usually found them best left forgotten, but that is another subject.
Another type of dream is the repetitive dream, one that recurs from time to time. Such dreams are often brief and frightening, like being chased by a monster, or falling. These dreams usually reflect a period of stress in your life.
Still another type of dream is the wish-fulfillment dream, in which you want something very badly, cannot get it in your real life, and so you dream it. Wish fulfillment dreams often occur after the death of a loved one or the break-up of a close relationship. You dream that you are with the person you love. This is very common.
Another type of dream is the clairvoyant dream. You dream of something that is happening somewhere else, or something that is going to happen in the future. Whether you believe in this sort of thing or not, I have found these dreams to be very common. Many of us have had the experience of being in a situation and remembering what is going to happen next. This can be very uncomfortable until you get used to it. Clairvoyant dreams can be very useful to you.
By far, the most common type of dream is the dream that simply reflects what is happening right now in your life. The people and events are usually disguised just enough to be hard to recognize. Now this isn’t always so, as some dreams are crystal clear. You dream of real people in your life, and the incidents closely parallel what is actually happening to you. People who are closely in touch with themselves and who are open to their experience of life often have extremely clear dreams. However, most dreams are symbolic of what is happening in the real world, and have to be interpreted.
to provide useful information. Very often your dreams can give you information that you are not aware of on a conscious level, and so interpretations of your dreams can be immensely valuable.
Why are dreams often hard to understand? Because, in most cases they accurately portray exactly what is going on in our lives, and most people are unwilling to accept this information. This is usually the case with people who don’t remember their dreams or who think that they don’t dream at all. You know from your own personal experience what happens when you tell someone the total truth. It’s something you don’t do too often, and then only when you are prepared for fireworks. And so we usually avoid most truth in order to be comfortable. Well, our dreams are equally considerate. They make us work to unearth their truth, and we have to prove that we really want to find out their meaning. I guarantee you that it’s worth doing.
As an example, suppose that you dream that someone in your life is stealing from you, or lying to you, or hiding something from you. In this case, it would be very worthwhile for you to take a close look at what is happening in the real world. It may well be that this person is indeed doing something that could harm you, that you have been aware of this on a subconscious level, but have been unwilling to accept this information into your conscious mind. Just think how valuable this kind of information can be to you.
As you learn to understand your dreams, you will probably find that each of your dreams is unique, and that it is not useful to look for a simple set of symbols that stays the same from dream to dream. A snake or a spider might be one thing in last night’s dream and another thing or person in some other dream. In my experience there does not seem to be any reliable set of universal dream symbols.
There is one other type of dream that is very useful, and that is the lucid dream. This kind of dream is unusually vivid and clear, so clear that it seems more real than the outside world. In the lucid dream you are fully aware of every sight and sound, and you feel and smell everything even more than in real life. The most unusual feature of the lucid dream is that you are fully aware that you are dreaming, and are able to control your dream. You say to yourself, “This is my dream; I am the dreamer, so I can control this dream and make it come out any way that I want to!”. And you do. Lucid dreams are especially important, as you can use them to control your life. Just as your dreams accurately reflect what is happening in your life, your life also accurately reflects what is happening in your dreams. It works both ways, as your dreams affect what is in your mind, and the workings of your mind create the world as you experience it. This could be a lengthy discussion, and there isn’t enough space her to do it justice. So, even though it may sound a little hard to believe, please accept for now that you can use this recording to gain mastery over your life by gaining control over your dreams. It really works, and it is also a great deal of fun. Dreams can be much more enjoyable than real life.
There is a type of psychotherapy that deals entirely with dreams as they relate to your life right now. You start by training yourself to remember your dreams. One way you can do this is by waking up after each dream and making a few quick notes on a pad beside your bed. Another way is to tell yourself when you are going to sleep that you will remember your dreams in the morning. This works also. When you recall your dreams, you ask yourself three questions. First, was I the hero of the dream? (Meaning, did I cause things to happen, or was I having things done to me) Next, how did I feel in the dream? And, finally, how would I make the dream different? Over a period of time, this simple exercise can give you control over your dreams, and over your life. You will achieve this same goal through the use of this recording.
Once you learn to take control of your dreams, you can talk to anything that frightens you and ask it to reveal itself, to tell you who it is and what it is doing. If you are having a frustration dream, you can tell yourself, “I know that I am dreaming, and I can get read of this uncomfortable dream any time I want to wake up.” You can learn to leave any dream that you wish to leave.
I hope that all this information on dreams and dreaming is useful to you. Please try some of the techniques, and find out for yourself how to use your dreams for beneficial change.
The Complete Happiness Handbook – Now on Kindle!
The Happiness Handbook: The Art of Beneficial Change [Kindle Edition] David Lee (Author)
Publication Date: May 25, 2015
Length: 129 pages
This book is for anyone who wants to be happier and have a more fulfilling life. It helps you identify and eliminate the causes of your frustration and unhappiness. Written by a man who defied the odds to become a rocket scientist, inventor, therapist, and most importantly, a happy person. This powerful book includes 15 downloadable audio recordings to help you reprogram your mind for success and fulfillment, all without conscious effort.
True happiness means going to sleep at night pleased and content with the day’s activities. It means waking up feeling refreshed and eager to get started. It also means taking pleasure in the everyday things that happen all day long, especially the relationships you have with others.
If you are stressed out, unhappy, stuck, or feeling hopeless, the information in this book can change your life! Full of concrete, well-researched information as well as a touch of humor, The Happiness Handbook will give you the tools and encouragement needed to improve your life, not just for today, but for the rest of your life!