Happiness and Your Subconscious Mind
In all probability, you are reading this right now because you sincerely want to change your life in some way. You might want to eliminate an unwanted habit, like a dependency of some kind. Or you may want better relationships, or to be better off financially. It’s also possible that you just want to be happier and more at peace, both with yourself and with others. Before you start the process of improving your life, you might want to explore the territory. Let’s talk about the underlying principle of significant change, how to reprogram your subconscious mind.
Your Subconscious Mind
Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to change? I’m talking now about really important changes, like losing weight, or stopping a bad habit like smoking or getting out of a disastrous relationship, something you know that you really want to do. Why can it be so difficult to do this? Why can’t you simply tell yourself to take the necessary actions and then proceed?
Maybe it’s because you are really not totally in charge! Maybe there are other forces at work, powerful forces that are inside of you yet totally outside your awareness. Let’s call this your subconscious mind.
Now this is a huge subject. Here it is in brief. There will be much more detail later in this report.
Your brain is immense and extremely complex, far more complicated than you could ever understand or even imagine. Here are some of the things it does for you without your conscious awareness:
- Semi-autonomous functions like walking and running. How would you like to tell yourself how to walk, step by step? Try it some time for laughs. It has to be automatic to work. You tell your brain where you want to go and it takes over.
- Autonomous functions like breathing and digestion. Would you like the task of directing each of your individual glands, function by function? Sound like fun?
- Input filtering. You are continuously bombarded with sensory inputs…sounds, sights, odors, tactile sensations…way too many to take in. Your brain automatically selects a small portion of these inputs to present for your conscious attention.
- Response generation. Within any minute of your time you may respond to dozens of situations requiring some kind of action. It may be smiling in response to a question, or a raised eyebrow, or an angry response…you have an incredibly rich reservoir of responses. Your brain automatically chooses what seems most appropriate, usually without your conscious awareness. Sometimes you are able to modify this response, but it takes skill.
Now that’s four activities that your brain are performing right now, as you read this. All of them without much conscious awareness on your part. I’m sure there are many others. The point is that this is going on right now, and that it goes on all the time. In essence you are operating on automatic pilot in almost all of your mental and physical activities, and you are not aware of it. You think that you are in charge!
We will be dealing mainly with two subconscious functions; input filtering and response generation. Why? Because these are the two functions that control a large part of your life, especially your happiness, and that’s the subject of this report.
A lot of life is random. Both positive and negative things come to you, mostly outside your control. Your mind filters your awareness of them, so only a fraction of these occurrences are ever known to you. Your bias (the operating rules for your subconscious) determine which inputs get through to you and which don’t.
Even though your subconscious mind is outside your awareness and outside your control, it can be trained. It takes time and effort, but it can be done. More on this later. That’s how you can change your life.
You will read about audio recordings as a way to bring yourself personal happiness. You will find a link to an Introductory Recording at the end of this article. Please download it and listen to it, so you can have some idea of what this powerful method can do for you. There are many other recordings that bring you specific benefits. You will find them at the end of most of the chapters in the book “Happiness Handbook”. All recordings are free. You can listen to them any time and anywhere.
These recordings increase your sensitivity. You become more aware on a conscious level of bad stuff coming your way so you can duck. More important, you become aware of the good stuff that comes your way so you can quickly take advantage of it. You learn quickly to grab the brass ring that swings into your range every millennium or so. That’s one secret of a good life. You may not be able to control whether or not opportunities come to you, but odds are that some good stuff will come your way, sooner or later. You can learn to recognize the good stuff when it comes floating your way and grab it.
How do you feel about wealth? Are you aware that you can easily improve your financial situation with just a few minor changes in you thinking? But you have to be willing to do this, both consciously and subconsciously. More on this later.
Your Subconscious Mind
How it got to be the way it is. And what you can do about it.
We have now talked about your subconscious mind and how it runs your life. First your semi-autonomous functions like walking. Then your full autonomous functions like body processes. Breathing and digesting and the like.
We then talked about two other subconscious functions…filtering the inputs you receive so you can process them, and automating your responses so you can handle them. These two areas are extremely important. These are the two areas of your subconscious mind that determine your level of happiness and your satisfaction. In fact they determine your entire life, because they control how you relate to other people. Your relationships with other people literally determine your success or failure in life…they are the major factor in your happiness and success.
There are two aspects of your relationships. First is how you are perceived by other people. This is your image. Your responses to other people control your image, and other people’s perception of your image controls how they treat you. If you come off as an angry and threatening person they will avoid you and treat you badly. If you come off as friendly and well intentioned they will treat you well and bring you opportunities. It’s that simple.
Second is how you perceive other people and the world around you. Some people have an internal belief that the world is bad and threatening. As a result they are overly sensitive to bad news and are generally negative. They automatically reject any optimistic news and ignore it, so their world is always negative. These people unconsciously create exactly the world that they expect.
Other people have an internal belief that the world is good and that good things will happen to them. These people treat bad news as part of the game, and almost always find something good about what is happening to them. These people attract good fortune.
Your internal belief system determines your perception of other people and the world around you, and also determines how you appear to other people in your world. Your internal belief system is a major part of your subconscious mind. It is the map of the world that you carry with you, below your level of awareness. It is your guide and your compass, your source of information and direction. You don’t know that it is there, but it is guiding you at all times.
So where did this internal map come from? It is the end product of all of your many years of experience on this planet. But most of your map’s construction took place when you were very young, even prenatal.
When you were born your first task was survival. You were totally helpless, completely at the mercy of your adult caretakers who most likely were irrational to some degree. We all are, you know. The difference is mainly in the style and degree of the irrationality. So you had to accommodate to a family with its own styles of irrational behavior, which they learned in turn when they were very young and so on. You literally inherited the behaviors and beliefs of your family, in order to get along with them, in order to predict their behaviors, and in order to stay out of trouble with them.
It worked, didn’t it? You are alive today. You survived infancy and childhood. And you have an inner belief system and a subconscious mind that you developed when you were very young, in order to handle a situation that is now long past. But it still functions in exactly the same way as it did when you were little. And that’s what this report is all about…how to change your belief system and subconscious mind for the better. You are about to learn how you can change your belief system for the better, literally reprogram your subconscious mind for happiness. So here’s the first hint…the process starts with awareness. Before you can change something you have to be aware of it. So start now with the idea that you can become aware of your subconscious mind. You will learn a number of ways to do this.
Your Subconscious Mind…How it got this Way
Earlier we talked about your subconscious mind and how it literally runs your life. In brief, you think you are in charge of what you do, say and think, but that’s not really the way things are. It’s the way you would like things to be. The truth is that you operate most of the time on automatic pilot, without much understanding of why you are doing what you are doing, saying what you are saying, feeling what you are feeling and experiencing the world in the way that you do.
How many times have you said to yourself, “How could I possibly have said that? Or done that? What was I thinking?”
How many times have you driven on the freeway for miles and miles only to realize that you had no memory at all of the last five miles, that you were simply thinking of other things?
Have you ever taken a good look at the person you are living with and noticed how much they resemble one of your parents, even though you had no idea of this when you met them and fell in love.
When was the last time you tried to change a really bad habit, like smoking or overeating, and gave up after a few false starts despite all your good intentions?
All of this is your subconscious mind at work. Well below your level of awareness. Working away at running your life, without your knowledge.
So where did this subconscious mind of yours come from? From the sum total of all of your experience in life, but mostly from your early experience when you badly need to form a life plan, and when it was very easy for you to take on new knowledge and habits. Back before you were two years old, before you could read and write, even before you were born. Prenatal embryos can sense what is happening. Play a tune often just outside the mother’s womb and the neonate will respond to it after birth.
What forms your subconscious mind? Your experiences? Remember that you are very young and very helpless, and your task is to survive. You do this by quickly learning your psychological and social environment, who is in charge, how to please them, how to get the care and feeding that you need. You learn how to operate within their idiosyncratic views and expectations, simply to get along.
If you are lucky enough to be born into a family that has close and intimate relationships then you rapidly learn how to relate emotionally. If you are unlucky to be born into a family that fights a lot and has a lot of anger, you will quickly learn to be defensive and unhappy. That way you will fit right into the existing environment. Unfortunately that learning will stay with you for the rest of your life, unless you do something about it.
Your future relationships are based on the relationships you experience when you are very young. Namely; how your parents and other caregivers treated you, and how they treated each other. This experienced and observed behavior quickly became the norm for you. Any other type of behavior became abnormal and uncomfortable.
My family was really crazy. They were always fighting with each other, usually at a subtle level of sniping and disparagement. They pretended to be loving and gentle but they weren’t. There is no fooling a small child. I grew up feeling at home with nastiness.
One day when I was around four I did a lemonade sale with a child of a neighboring family. The mother and father really loved their child, genuinely and warmly. I was with them on the front lawn, and was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t stand it and had to leave. The experience of true warmth and love was that far away from my expectations. My own personal experience was only sniping and hostility. I couldn’t stand good treatment.
You pick up all of your attitudes and basic opinions when you are very little. How do you feel now about rich people? How did your parents feel and what did they say? About doctors, and lawyers? About the government, about people in other countries? Do you feel safe inside your skin, or do you feel threatened in many ways?
Your subconscious mind – how it got started
Imagine yourself long, long ago, long before you were born. You are inside your mother, just beginning to form into a human being. Somewhere along the line you start to develop a mind, an intellect that will later become your brain. But right now it is very rudimentary. Yet exquisitely sensitive.
You have nothing more to do than become a human being and to experience everything that comes your way. You absorb all of your mother’s emotions, transmitted to you both chemically and psychically. You are literally one with her. You experience her delights and her terrors, her anxieties and her love. You cannot help it…you are part of her.
Later, around a month before you are born, you become sensitive to some of the world outside your mother. If your parents play a tune for you it becomes part of your memory and you recognize it after you are born. You vaguely sense other parts of the “world out there”.
Your birth experience, unless you are very lucky, is sufficiently traumatic to scare the hell out of you. A sudden transition from total darkness to brilliant light, from a temperature controlled womb to chilling cold, from relative silence to crashing noise. It’s a wonder that any of us survive the birth experience.
So where are you now, right after birth? Probably in a crib, possibly very curious about your new environment, with no language and very limited intellect. But you know what is going on at an emotional level, and are exquisitely sensitive to everything in your environment. You already have a personality. Neonates can be rated on whether they are placid or aggressive, curious or passive, and so on. Many years later their adult personalities will carry these same characteristics.
Now it’s time to go home with your parents. Your owners, your mentors, your gods. You know instinctively that you owe your very life to these people…without them you cannot possibly survive. So your entire focus is to integrate into the mini-society that is your home. In order to secure your survival. You have to find out how to predict your parents’ responses to your actions, how they react in various situations, and how you are expected to act in order to please them.
Now it is entirely possible that your parents are wonderful, caring people who are experts in the care and feeding of young babies and how to bring them up to be fully functioning and happy adults. Want to bet on this? Most of the people I know in this world, including myself, are somewhat limited. There are many areas where we don’t function quite as well as we could. (I am being kind.) We adults tend to be rigid, irrational, full of superstitious beliefs, angry, frustrated, either unpredictable in our responses or totally and very rigidly predictable, and very limited. This has something to do with the way we were brought up, the way we developed our subconscious minds starting very early in life. Just like you.
So what you do, as a newborn, is take on all the craziness of the family that you are born into. You personally experience the way they treat you, every intonation, and every subtle communication. You know whether they really like you or whether they just say they do. You know whether you are truly welcome, or the result of an “accident” to be made the best of.
You personally experience the way they treat each other. Not what they say they do, but what they actually do. You can’t be fooled. You don’t even know the language yet, but you sure know the tones of voice, the body language, and the subtle psychic emanations. You are one psychic little being. You take on a “world view” of how people “should” relate with each other, based on the way your parents relate to each other and to you, and to the other important people who happen to be around.
This becomes your subconscious mind, your map of the world that you carry with you without realizing it. All through your adult life, unless you choose to do something about it. Which is what this report is all about. In a later part we talk about how you quickly conceal the presence of your subconscious mind from yourself, so it is invisible and outside your awareness. Good stuff!
What’s in Your Subconscious Mind?
Imagine your subconscious mind as a vast collection of tools. Here are some:
This is a guide to your world, mostly in terms of how one thing associates with another. Like love = pleasure, intimacy = danger, relative = good person, and so on. Very often the associations are inconsistent with each other. These associations are based on all the experiences you have had in your life, going back to prenatal.
You are continuously bombarded with sensory inputs. Sights, sounds, tactile sensations, tastes, smells and psychic awareness. There is no way that you could possibly process all of these inputs. You would go mad. Your inner mind is equivalent to a very fast and intuitive computer. It sorts through all of the inputs and selects a small proportion of them for your conscious consideration. Only those inputs that are within your experience, only those inputs that avoid psychic pain, only those inputs that have some survival importance, and so on.
You are continually required to respond to people and to situations that occur. Someone smiles at you and you instinctively smile back. Whence that instinctual response? From your subconscious mind. You don’t say to yourself, “that person just smiled at me so I will smile back”. You just do it, automatically. Almost all of your responses are fully automatic. You are aware of them some of the time, but certainly not at all times.
Every once in a while you are called on to make a major decision, like buying a car or a house, or getting married, or making an investment. Most of the time your decisions are minor, like what movie to watch tonight. But you are always making decisions and most of them are not made on a logical basis. You go by your “gut feeling”, the internal sensations that guide you. Where do these “gut feelings” come from? From your subconscious mind, of course.
Other functions include language, both written and spoken, image processing, memory, and so on. Hundreds of functions.
Imagine for a moment all of the experiences of your life, each one a separate entity, swimming around in your subconscious ocean. Linking and unlinking, associating and communicating. All of them available to you, but without awareness. Then your internal loudspeaker comes on, describes the problem, and gets an answer. On an intuitive and emotional level. You receive this information and act on it.
We like to think of ourselves as logical and organized. Sometimes we are. But most of the time our emotions run us. This is just fine, as long as our emotions are in good shape. Not so fine if we are in emotional trouble and have blocks, like an unwillingness to succeed. More on this later.
How Does My Subconscious Communicate with Me?
How do you know when something is wrong for you? When you are in an “uncomfortable” situation? Simple…it’s because you are uncomfortable. Your subconscious mind is sending you discomfort signals. How does it do this? Through your nervous system. Your subconscious mind trigger your areas of discomfort, and it is very good at this.
Discomfort sensations differ from person to person. For some it might be muscle tension, for others stomach pain, for others a sharp sensation near the heart. Some people might experience discomfort mentally, as a sort of confusion. It also varies from time to time, and from circumstance to circumstance. But it is definitely there. Your subconscious mind lets you know when you are getting into dangerous territory. You just have to be aware of the discomfort sensations.
That’s it for now on your subconscious, what’s in it, and how it communicates with you. Warning…all of this is a vast oversimplification. Things are really a lot more complex, but this explanation is good enough for now.
Thanks for reading this far. It shows that you have a definite interest in improving your life. My purpose in publishing this report is to give you ways to significantly improve your well-being. I hope that you can take advantage of the principles that you are learning.
How Your Subconscious Mind Hid Itself From You
There is a strong suspicion that the subconscious mind is a fairly recent acquisition. Or rather the concept that we have two minds, one relatively familiar to us and the other mostly unknown.
Back around 5,000 years ago our ancestors talked with God on a fairly consistent basis. They existed in a world of magic and sorcery and accepted this. It would seem that our cerebral cortex and other higher brain functions did not develop until fairly recently.
It would also seem that we don’t split off the conscious part of our mind until we are almost grown up, maybe age 10 or so. Until then our thinking is almost entirely concrete. We can deal with specifics that we can touch or see, but not with abstract concepts. We lack the critical facility that strongly separates fantasy from reality.
85% of children under 10 or so are deeply hypnotizable. They go into deep trance easily and can readily accept suggestions. Only 15% or so of adults are deeply hypnotizable. That’s why a stage hypnotist has to be so selective. He carefully screens his audience to find those who are susceptible.
What happens? In growing up our minds develop a critical facility, the ability to separate reality from fantasy. Once this happens we tend to lose contact with all the “non-reality” aspects of our inner mind. But some of don’t. We retain our contact with the “magic” part of our mind.
The subconscious mind is very malleable, very open to suggestion. At one time or another we have all watched a stage hypnotist tell a subject that they cannot remember their own name. And they couldn’t! Try as hard as they wished, they could not come up with their name.
That’s about the same thing that happens with your entire subconscious mind, once you develop a critical facility. It becomes terra incognita, a place where you never go. You don’t even know that it exists.
Here’s the sequence. First you develop your subconscious mind, while you are very young. Almost all its content accrues before you are five years old. That’s when you are most impressionable, and that’s when you are gathering most of your information.
Somewhere around 10 years old you develop the ability to separate fantasy from reality. Maybe a lot earlier. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have long ago become fantasy figures. You now understand how the adults around you really work, and how to manipulate them. You no longer believe in magic or spirits or other “supernatural” phenomena, especially any magic that might be running around inside of yourself. Your subconscious mind has essentially completed itself, gone underground, and sealed itself off. It did this while you were still highly hypnotizable, when you were one of the 85% of children who can go into deep trance easily. Your subconscious mind essentially completed itself (except for minor later modifications), created a door to close itself off, locked the door, and then disguised the door so cunningly that you can’t find it now and are not even aware of it.
Now you are grown up, and are no longer able to go into the unknown parts of your mind. In fact, if it were not for this report, you would not even know about it. So how do you know that it is there? Here’s some evidence.
You certainly don’t dream with your conscious mind. Dreams are the way your subconscious mind communicates with you in subtle ways. Want to enter the world of your inner mind? Start doing some dream interpretation. Sigmund Freud said that “Dreams are the royal road to the subconscious.” Would you like to know more about your dreams and how to use them to improve your life? Do a web search. You will come up with a lot of information.
When was the last time you said to yourself, “How could I have possibly said that? Or did that?” It wasn’t the devil pushing on your shoulders. It was your inner mind, kicking up. It does that from time to time.
How many times have you driven on the freeway only to realize that you have no memory of the last five miles or so? Who was driving? How many times have you seen someone for the first time in a long time and couldn’t remember their name, then suddenly remembered it 10 minutes later? What was going on during that time? A little subconscious processing?
There is this…you know you have been there before or seen it before but you can’t remember. Yes, you are right, but the memory is buried in your subconscious, just kicking around enough to bug you.
Instant Like or Dislike
If you are like most people you often have an instant reaction to someone you meet for the first time. It’s totally illogical, defies explanation. Yet is it very strong, and usually entirely accurate. Where does this come from? Your inner mind with its vast warehouse of experience and comparisons instantly lines up all kinds of observables about the new person, along with all the associations from your past. Then it sends you a comfort signal or a discomfort signal as appropriate.
Now that you are living with your life mate you know things about them that were totally obscure to you when you first met. Like how much your relationship resembles one of the relationships that you grew up with. And how much their behavior resembles that of someone who was very important to you. But you had no awareness of this at all while you were “in love”, or whatever. How did that happen? Blame your subconscious, sneakily seeking out the familiar. It happens. That’s one of the main functions of your subconscious mind…to keep you in familiar territory.
You now have some understanding of your subconscious mind and where it comes from. You have an idea of how it hid itself from you and is in hiding right now. You know what it does for you. What’s next? How to deal with it. That’s what we talk about next.
Your Subconscious Mind – How to Change your Life
This is the last part of this report on the subconscious mind. You know about where it is (somewhere inside of your head yet inaccessible). You also know that it runs a major part of your life. Like how you react, what you can perceive, and who you are. Your very personality is under the firm control of your subconscious mind.
Now this is a strong advantage. It means that you present yourself consistently to the outside world, which is what other people expect and want. If you would like some real problems start behaving differently, start deviating from your customary behavior. You won’t lack for excitement. You will get some really weird reactions from your friends and relatives.
It’s also a strong advantage in another way…you don’t have to think about how you are reacting. Your reactions are automatic and consistent. Again, other people are comfortable with this.
The only difficulty is when you really want to change a particular way of behaving. Let’s take one most difficult example…stopping smoking. You know that smoking is very harmful and that you want to quit. But somehow you can’t. Why not?
Because you are up against three things: a physical habit, a chemical addiction, and an internal image of yourself as a smoker. You need to change all three. You need a stop smoking program that addresses all three issues to be successful.
Why is it so difficult to change firmly ingrained behaviors? Because you have to deal with three issues, just like in smoking cessation. You have the issue of habit…long term firmly rooted responses that are fully automatic. You have the issue of secondary gains…you are being rewarded in some way for the unwanted behavior. Maybe you get attention for it, maybe it satisfies your need to frustrate a person in your life, or maybe you are just totally inured to failure and expect it. Third, your brain has actually accommodated to the behavior with physical changes. Any area of the brain that is stimulated will grow in both size and function. Any brain area that is starved will lose mass and some function. Your physical brain has actually accommodated itself to your unwanted behavior. Now that’s a tough one
The brains of London cab drivers were measured before and after they received the training necessary for the licenses. They are required to know by heart the street in this difficult city, which change names at the drop of a hat. After their training the area in their cerebral cortex related to mapping and finding location had significantly grown in size and function.
This report, in fact the entire book “Happiness Handbook”, is devoted to helping you improve your life. Also the web site www.truefortunes.com. It doesn’t matter what area…money, satisfaction, relationships, business success, peace of mind, it’s all up to you. All these methods concentrate on your personal happiness, as this is the key factor in your total satisfaction in life. We also like to work with wealth and money as this provides an instant report card…how much you have and how much you are making. You know right away whether or not you are making progress.
In order for you to make basic changes in your way of being you need to make basic changes in your subconscious mind. It’s difficult, but possible. The rest of this report deals with this issue. Here’s what you have to take into account:
It will take a reasonable amount of time. Your subconscious mind is the end product of all of your years of experience. It took a long time to get where it is. It will take a reasonable amount of time to change. You must be patient. And there is no way to establish a schedule. It happens when it happens, often in fits and jerks.
It will take dedication and effort. There is no set way to do it so you will have to find your own path. We provide you with many positive recordings that can be downloaded, along with reports like this one. These recordings reach directly into your subconscious mind, and create beneficial change. Especially if they are used regularly. We can also recommend books, other recordings, seminars, courses you can take, people you can talk with. Everyone is unique and everyone has their own path to happiness and fulfillment. We will help you find yours.
It is possible that you may be frustrated along the way. At times it may seem that the process is taking forever and that you are making little progress. At other times you will achieve sudden and unexpected breakthroughs, “aha” moments that let you know clearly that you are doing the right thing. The odds are very good that you will succeed.
Everything you do on you path to happiness will be helpful to you, even though it may not seem that way at the time. It all comes under the heading of “learning”. Sometimes you will be learning how not to do it.
As a last resort, if all else fails, give me a call. Leave a message with your name and phone number and the best time to call you back. 310-396-5459. Or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You may find it helpful.