being happy

10 Surprising Facts About Rejection

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128173-160322We know that rejection really hurts, but they can also inflict damage to our psychological well-being that goes well beyond mere emotional pain. Here are 10 lesser known facts that describe the various effects rejection has on our emotions, thinking, and behavior. Let’s begin by examining why rejection hurts as much as it does:

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The Complete Happiness Handbook

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Published on Jun 1, 2015

If you are stressed out, unhappy, stuck, or hopeless, the information in this book can change your life! Full of concrete, well-researched information as well as a touch of humor, The Happiness Handbook will give you the tools and encouragement needed to improve your life, not just for today, but for the rest of your life! Get the complete 129 page book! Now on Kindle!…

Dreams. Why are dreams often hard to understand?

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Here is some information on the various kinds of dreams. Sigmund Freud, the originator of psychotherapy in its present form, paid a great deal of attention to his patients’ dreams. He regarded dreams as the royal road to the unconscious. Freud felt that childhood frustrations were extremely important, and he believed that all adult dreams reflected childhood incidents, which had been suppressed, or buried in the subconscious mind. Whether this is always true or not, it does appear that some of your dreams do relate to things that happened to you when you were little, and that your understanding of these dreams can help you remember incidents from your childhood that you have forgotten because they were unpleasant. Now there is some question in my mind, whether it is worthwhile to dig up unpleasant incidents from early life. I have usually found them best left forgotten, but that is another subject.

Another type of dream is the repetitive dream, one that recurs from time to time. Such dreams are often brief and frightening, like being chased by a monster, or falling. These dreams usually reflect a period of stress in your life.

Still another type of dream is the wish-fulfillment dream, in which you want something very badly, cannot get it in your real life, and so you dream it. Wish fulfillment dreams often occur after the death of a loved one or the break-up of a close relationship. You dream that you are with the person you love. This is very common.

Another type of dream is the clairvoyant dream. You dream of something that is happening somewhere else, or something that is going to happen in the future. Whether you believe in this sort of thing or not, I have found these dreams to be very common. Many of us have had the experience of being in a situation and remembering what is going to happen next. This can be very uncomfortable until you get used to it. Clairvoyant dreams can be very useful to you.

By far, the most common type of dream is the dream that simply reflects what is happening right now in your life. The people and events are usually disguised just enough to be hard to recognize. Now this isn’t always so, as some dreams are crystal clear. You dream of real people in your life, and the incidents closely parallel what is actually happening to you. People who are closely in touch with themselves and who are open to their experience of life often have extremely clear dreams. However, most dreams are symbolic of what is happening in the real world, and have to be interpreted.

to provide useful information. Very often your dreams can give you information that you are not aware of on a conscious level, and so interpretations of your dreams can be immensely valuable.

Why are dreams often hard to understand? Because, in most cases they accurately portray exactly what is going on in our lives, and most people are unwilling to accept this information. This is usually the case with people who don’t remember their dreams or who think that they don’t dream at all. You know from your own personal experience what happens when you tell someone the total truth. It’s something you don’t do too often, and then only when you are prepared for fireworks. And so we usually avoid most truth in order to be comfortable. Well, our dreams are equally considerate. They make us work to unearth their truth, and we have to prove that we really want to find out their meaning. I guarantee you that it’s worth doing.

As an example, suppose that you dream that someone in your life is stealing from you, or lying to you, or hiding something from you. In this case, it would be very worthwhile for you to take a close look at what is happening in the real world. It may well be that this person is indeed doing something that could harm you, that you have been aware of this on a subconscious level, but have been unwilling to accept this information into your conscious mind. Just think how valuable this kind of information can be to you.

As you learn to understand your dreams, you will probably find that each of your dreams is unique, and that it is not useful to look for a simple set of symbols that stays the same from dream to dream. A snake or a spider might be one thing in last night’s dream and another thing or person in some other dream. In my experience there does not seem to be any reliable set of universal dream symbols.

There is one other type of dream that is very useful, and that is the lucid dream. This kind of dream is unusually vivid and clear, so clear that it seems more real than the outside world. In the lucid dream you are fully aware of every sight and sound, and you feel and smell everything even more than in real life. The most unusual feature of the lucid dream is that you are fully aware that you are dreaming, and are able to control your dream. You say to yourself, “This is my dream; I am the dreamer, so I can control this dream and make it come out any way that I want to!”. And you do. Lucid dreams are especially important, as you can use them to control your life. Just as your dreams accurately reflect what is happening in your life, your life also accurately reflects what is happening in your dreams. It works both ways, as your dreams affect what is in your mind, and the workings of your mind create the world as you experience it. This could be a lengthy discussion, and there isn’t enough space her to do it justice. So, even though it may sound a little hard to believe, please accept for now that you can use this recording to gain mastery over your life by gaining control over your dreams. It really works, and it is also a great deal of fun. Dreams can be much more enjoyable than real life.

There is a type of psychotherapy that deals entirely with dreams as they relate to your life right now. You start by training yourself to remember your dreams. One way you can do this is by waking up after each dream and making a few quick notes on a pad beside your bed. Another way is to tell yourself when you are going to sleep that you will remember your dreams in the morning. This works also. When you recall your dreams, you ask yourself three questions. First, was I the hero of the dream? (Meaning, did I cause things to happen, or was I having things done to me) Next, how did I feel in the dream? And, finally, how would I make the dream different? Over a period of time, this simple exercise can give you control over your dreams, and over your life. You will achieve this same goal through the use of this recording.

Once you learn to take control of your dreams, you can talk to anything that frightens you and ask it to reveal itself, to tell you who it is and what it is doing. If you are having a frustration dream, you can tell yourself, “I know that I am dreaming, and I can get read of this uncomfortable dream any time I want to wake up.” You can learn to leave any dream that you wish to leave.

I hope that all this information on dreams and dreaming is useful to you. Please try some of the techniques, and find out for yourself how to use your dreams for beneficial change.

The Happiness Handbook

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Here is your sample chapter from “The Happiness Handbook”

Chapter 2

The Art of Beneficial Change – Nine Steps to Happiness

By David Lee Ph.D.

Download here: The Art of Beneficial Change

Nine Steps to Happiness by David Lee Ph.D.
Nine Steps to Happiness by David Lee Ph.D.

How To Overcome Difficulty

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Join and get personal access to Dr. David Lee!
Universal truth… we all want to be happy. There are definite steps you can take to bring happiness and peace of mind into your life. They take time and determination.

Your task is to find happiness and peace of mind in a world that is increasingly full of challenges.

My task is to help you in this difficult endeavor. We can work together. Join me on our new Facebook Group and together we can discover ways to overcome many of the difficulties that life may present from time to time. You’re not alone.


Happiness and Your Subconscious Mind

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Happiness and Your Subconscious Mind

In all probability, you are reading this right now because you sincerely want to change your life in some way. You might want to eliminate an unwanted habit, like a dependency of some kind. Or you may want better relationships, or to be better off financially. It’s also possible that you just want to be happier and more at peace, both with yourself and with others. Before you start the process of improving your life, you might want to explore the territory. Let’s talk about the underlying principle of significant change, how to reprogram your subconscious mind.

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Ending Depression

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Ending Depression life-and-enlightenment-650x406 The first thing you need to know about depression is the effect is has on you. Most people know when they are depressed, but sometimes it helps to know the specific symptoms. Read the full article and listen to the accompanying audio recording.

10 Ways To Avoid Holiday Depression

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Holiday Depression holiday_depression

We are headed into the holidays and it’s time for rejoicing. Except for those of us who dread the holidays. For many people Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years are very difficult. A time when they are lonely and feel neglected, a time that reminds them of a difficult childhood, a time when everyone else seems happy but them. I am writing this for any of you who find the holidays difficult. Don’t worry. You are not alone.

If you don’t believe this then ask your shrink. Or someone else’s shrink if you don’t have one. They will tell you that the holidays are their busiest time of the year. Here are some helpful hints for handling the holiday blues.

First, try to avoid stress and depression especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

  1. Acknowledge your feelings.  If you have had a recent loss or you can’t be with people you love, then it’s normal to feel sadness. Take time out to cry and express your feelings. Don’t try to force yourself to be happy. It won’t work.
  2. Find outside resources.  Go to community, religious or other social events. You will find support and companionship. Volunteer your time to help others as this will give you pleasure and will help you develop new friendships.
  3. Accept change. Holidays change with time. Traditions and rituals evolve.  If your adult children can’t come to your house then celebrate together in other ways, like sharing pictures, emails or videos.
  4. Accept family members and friends as they are. They will never live up to all of your expectations. Forget all the grievances for a while, maybe permanently. Be understanding when other people get upset when things go wrong. They may also have holiday stress and depression.
  5. Set a budget.  Decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.
  6. Set a schedule.  Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Write down your schedule and stick with it as best you can.
  7. Protect yourself.  Don’t overcommit.  Say no to requests when you are uncomfortable or unwilling.
  8. Stay with healthy habits.  Don’t eat or drink too much or abandon your exercise. Overindulgence only makes you feel worse. Snack a little before holiday parties so that you overindulge on sweets, cheese or drinks.  Get a lot of sleep.  Get exercise each day.
  9. Take time out.  Just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, could refresh you enough to handle everything. Clear your mind, slow your breathing and restore inner calm. You could take a walk at night, listen to soothing music. Get a massage or read a book.
  10. Get professional help if things get out of hand.  If you feel persistently sad or anxious, have serious physical complaints, unable to sleep, feel irritable and hopeless, and find yourself unable to face routine chores for a period of time, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Take control of the holidays

The holidays don’t have to be something you dread. You can take steps to prevent stress and depression that can come to you during the holidays. Recognize your holiday triggers, like financial pressures or relationship demands, so you can take care of them before a meltdown. Follow the suggestions you have just read and you will be able to find peace and joy during the holidays.