self improvement
How To Overcome Difficulty
Your task is to find happiness and peace of mind in a world that is increasingly full of challenges.
My task is to help you in this difficult endeavor. We can work together. Join me on our new Facebook Group and together we can discover ways to overcome many of the difficulties that life may present from time to time. You’re not alone.
Self Confidence
When you are confident within yourself, you move through life with relative ease. You know that your happiness and your emotional state is your own responsibility, and you survive the daily problems and insults that surround all of us without getting overly upset. You are sensitive to the other people in your life, but you understand that their problem behaviors are their own property, and you can usually remain at peace within yourself even when the people around you are doing anything but.
When you are not confident within yourself, you find yourself almost always seeking the approval of other people. You model your entire life around pleasing others. You derive your feelings of self-worth from what other people say about you and how they treat you. Not a good thing to do, as it sharply limits your success and happiness, and puts you at the mercy of other people’s craziness.
Self-confident people tend to be more successful in their careers and in their relationships. They certainly have easier lives than people who lack self-confidence.
What determines your self-confidence? Do you walk your own path, or are you cautiously gauging the reactions of other people? How did you get the way you are? You probably know the answer already…it’s how you were raised, what happened to you while you were growing up.
Were you given a reasonable amount of independence as a child? Were you encouraged to explore your own world, have the friends you wanted, allowed to play in the way you wanted, encouraged to be open in your feelings and opinions? Or were you criticized for all kinds of infractions, forced to follow the dictates of your parents in practically everything, and strongly condemned for commenting on the way you felt about things and about your parents? Perhaps you had to follow a rigid schedule of lessons, tutoring, and activities which your parents chose for you. Perhaps you were virtually ignored, with only occasional interactions with your parents. You knew that no-one really cared about you.
Your self-confidence training continued after you started school. What were your classroom experiences like? Were you bullied? Were you the last person chosen for the team? What kind of grades did you get?
These childhood experiences mold your brain into behavior patterns that last your entire adult life, unless you choose to do something about them. Your Self Confidence (Audio) recording brings you a way to change your life by changing your programming.
Your brain developed while you were growing up. Certain areas developed and others didn’t. I’m talking about physical parts of your brain…little chunks of grey matter that can be measured and probed with modern medical equipment. Your neural pathways developed at this time; the interconnections between various parts of your brain. If you lack self-confidence, and wish to develop it, you must put in the time and effort to allow physical changes in your brain. That’s why it takes a while, and that’s why it’s not easy. Changing your brain patterns is like improving your body by going to the gym…it takes a while and a lot of persistence.
Most of your behavior patterns are buried in your subconscious mind, that part of your mind that is outside your normal awareness. Improving your self-confidence means making changes in a part of your mind that is largely invisible to you. This makes the process even more difficult.
Fortunately there are ways to deal directly with your subconscious mind. Even more fortunately, the recording that comes with this article (Audio) is one of the most effective methods. The instructions and suggestions on your recording go directly into your subconscious mind, and create power benefits as you listen over a period of time.
So far I’ve covered the basic principles of self-confidence. For more information, here’s a very complete article on the same subject: http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=191
This article is published by Counseling Center at University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
Audio recordings for the previous sessions:
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Happiness
#livehappy – Universal truth… we all want to be happy. We all think we know how to do this. So that’s what we do. We do the things that we think will make us happy.
Sometimes this works. A lot of the time it doesn’t. Because the usual roadmaps to happiness are biased. They are misleading. I’ll be happy if only I make enough money. Or achieve enough success. Or win that tournament. Or get those awards, have a huge house, learn enough skills, and own his and hers Maserati’s. We live in a society of money and power, fame (or notoriety) and scientific progress. We grow up immersed in this broth of wealth and prestige and progress, so we naturally believe in these principles.
It’s a mistake to pursue happiness, even though it’s our constitutional right. Happiness firmly resists pursuit. But it’s possible to set up your life so happiness is likely. Like tending a garden. You don’t prepare the ground, toss in seeds, and get instant results. You have to maintain an environment that is conducive to growth. The same for your life.
There are definite steps you can take to bring happiness and peace of mind into your life. They take time and determination. Stay tuned in for more information.
Your task is to find happiness and peace of mind in a world that is increasingly full of challenges.
My task is to help you in this difficult endeavor. We can work together.
– David Lee
Your Path To Well Being and Better Living 