confidence building
How To Overcome Difficulty
Your task is to find happiness and peace of mind in a world that is increasingly full of challenges.
My task is to help you in this difficult endeavor. We can work together. Join me on our new Facebook Group and together we can discover ways to overcome many of the difficulties that life may present from time to time. You’re not alone.
Ending Depression
Ending Depression 
The first thing you need to know about depression is the effect is has on you. Most people know when they are depressed, but sometimes it helps to know the specific symptoms. Read the full article and listen to the accompanying audio recording.
10 Ways To Avoid Holiday Depression
Holiday Depression 
We are headed into the holidays and it’s time for rejoicing. Except for those of us who dread the holidays. For many people Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years are very difficult. A time when they are lonely and feel neglected, a time that reminds them of a difficult childhood, a time when everyone else seems happy but them. I am writing this for any of you who find the holidays difficult. Don’t worry. You are not alone.
If you don’t believe this then ask your shrink. Or someone else’s shrink if you don’t have one. They will tell you that the holidays are their busiest time of the year. Here are some helpful hints for handling the holiday blues.
First, try to avoid stress and depression especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.
- Acknowledge your feelings. If you have had a recent loss or you can’t be with people you love, then it’s normal to feel sadness. Take time out to cry and express your feelings. Don’t try to force yourself to be happy. It won’t work.
- Find outside resources. Go to community, religious or other social events. You will find support and companionship. Volunteer your time to help others as this will give you pleasure and will help you develop new friendships.
- Accept change. Holidays change with time. Traditions and rituals evolve. If your adult children can’t come to your house then celebrate together in other ways, like sharing pictures, emails or videos.
- Accept family members and friends as they are. They will never live up to all of your expectations. Forget all the grievances for a while, maybe permanently. Be understanding when other people get upset when things go wrong. They may also have holiday stress and depression.
- Set a budget. Decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.
- Set a schedule. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Write down your schedule and stick with it as best you can.
- Protect yourself. Don’t overcommit. Say no to requests when you are uncomfortable or unwilling.
- Stay with healthy habits. Don’t eat or drink too much or abandon your exercise. Overindulgence only makes you feel worse. Snack a little before holiday parties so that you overindulge on sweets, cheese or drinks. Get a lot of sleep. Get exercise each day.
- Take time out. Just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, could refresh you enough to handle everything. Clear your mind, slow your breathing and restore inner calm. You could take a walk at night, listen to soothing music. Get a massage or read a book.
- Get professional help if things get out of hand. If you feel persistently sad or anxious, have serious physical complaints, unable to sleep, feel irritable and hopeless, and find yourself unable to face routine chores for a period of time, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Take control of the holidays
The holidays don’t have to be something you dread. You can take steps to prevent stress and depression that can come to you during the holidays. Recognize your holiday triggers, like financial pressures or relationship demands, so you can take care of them before a meltdown. Follow the suggestions you have just read and you will be able to find peace and joy during the holidays.
Can a ten minute recording change your life?
Maybe it’s time to find out for yourself. Want to develop your self-confidence? Click below for a free ten minute recording that you can play anywhere and anytime. If you want to become more assertive (the key to success), click below. You can play these free recordings in your home, in your car, anywhere for amazing results.
You became who you are largely from what other people told you while you were growing up. Starting with your very early years. These powerful recordings give you positive information that literally reprograms your mind, to bring you success and happiness. These recordings are free. Fully guaranteed, return at any time for a full refund.
Julian Treasure: How to speak so that people want to listen
A very good presentation on the power of speaking and the virtues that will see that your words will always ring true. A must see video for all! http://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_how_to_speak_so_that_people_want_to_listen
Have you ever felt like you’re talking, but nobody is listening? Here’s Julian Treasure to help. In this useful talk, the sound expert demonstrates the how-to’s of powerful speaking — from some handy vocal exercises to tips on how to speak with empathy. A talk that might help the world sound more beautiful.
Self Confidence
When you are confident within yourself, you move through life with relative ease. You know that your happiness and your emotional state is your own responsibility, and you survive the daily problems and insults that surround all of us without getting overly upset. You are sensitive to the other people in your life, but you understand that their problem behaviors are their own property, and you can usually remain at peace within yourself even when the people around you are doing anything but.
When you are not confident within yourself, you find yourself almost always seeking the approval of other people. You model your entire life around pleasing others. You derive your feelings of self-worth from what other people say about you and how they treat you. Not a good thing to do, as it sharply limits your success and happiness, and puts you at the mercy of other people’s craziness.
Self-confident people tend to be more successful in their careers and in their relationships. They certainly have easier lives than people who lack self-confidence.
What determines your self-confidence? Do you walk your own path, or are you cautiously gauging the reactions of other people? How did you get the way you are? You probably know the answer already…it’s how you were raised, what happened to you while you were growing up.
Were you given a reasonable amount of independence as a child? Were you encouraged to explore your own world, have the friends you wanted, allowed to play in the way you wanted, encouraged to be open in your feelings and opinions? Or were you criticized for all kinds of infractions, forced to follow the dictates of your parents in practically everything, and strongly condemned for commenting on the way you felt about things and about your parents? Perhaps you had to follow a rigid schedule of lessons, tutoring, and activities which your parents chose for you. Perhaps you were virtually ignored, with only occasional interactions with your parents. You knew that no-one really cared about you.
Your self-confidence training continued after you started school. What were your classroom experiences like? Were you bullied? Were you the last person chosen for the team? What kind of grades did you get?
These childhood experiences mold your brain into behavior patterns that last your entire adult life, unless you choose to do something about them. Your Self Confidence (Audio) recording brings you a way to change your life by changing your programming.
Your brain developed while you were growing up. Certain areas developed and others didn’t. I’m talking about physical parts of your brain…little chunks of grey matter that can be measured and probed with modern medical equipment. Your neural pathways developed at this time; the interconnections between various parts of your brain. If you lack self-confidence, and wish to develop it, you must put in the time and effort to allow physical changes in your brain. That’s why it takes a while, and that’s why it’s not easy. Changing your brain patterns is like improving your body by going to the gym…it takes a while and a lot of persistence.
Most of your behavior patterns are buried in your subconscious mind, that part of your mind that is outside your normal awareness. Improving your self-confidence means making changes in a part of your mind that is largely invisible to you. This makes the process even more difficult.
Fortunately there are ways to deal directly with your subconscious mind. Even more fortunately, the recording that comes with this article (Audio) is one of the most effective methods. The instructions and suggestions on your recording go directly into your subconscious mind, and create power benefits as you listen over a period of time.
So far I’ve covered the basic principles of self-confidence. For more information, here’s a very complete article on the same subject: http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=191
This article is published by Counseling Center at University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
Audio recordings for the previous sessions:
Your Path To Well Being and Better Living 